Well, at least the kids are really thinking outside the box!

Kids who have taken virginity pledges are more likely to engage in oral and anal sex

A new eight-year study revealed that American teenagers who take virginity pledges wind up with just as many STDs as the other kids. But that's not all. Taking the pledge also makes a teenage girl six times more likely to perform oral sex, and four times more likely to allow anal. Apparently the only thing immoral about sex is sticking a penis into a vagina. Everything else is just fine.
Which leads me to an important question: why didn't I fill out these pledges when I was in high school?

If I had known I could have been getting some porn-star style sex the same year I took Algebra simply by joining up with the Christian right, I'd would have been Sooo down with Jesus (as long as they were going down on me that is). Bring on the celibacy, BJ's & buttsex!

From the Article

MacIntyre, who thrills to find dates through the College Coalition, wears a silver "purity ring," which her father slipped onto her finger during a mountain ceremony. When she gets married, she says, her father will give the ring to her husband. And when she finally has sex, she says, "it's gonna' freaking rock."

Umm, no it's not! It's probably gonna HURT. Like hell. Dumbfuck! Either that or your sexually repressed boyfriend shoots his load in a minute-five tops! It doesn't get good until later (maybe not much later, but still later) for probably 99% of women.

Oh yeah, and a virginity promise mountain ceremony? Way to be creepily overpossesive Dad! Bet he wants to be a silent witness to the cherry poppin' too!

There sure are a lot worse things than teenagers having sex. Namely, teenagers not having sex. Here is something you'll never hear: That suicide bomber blew himself up because he was having too much sex. Sex, sex, sex, nonstop, all that crazy Arab ever had was sex, and look what happened. I used to not understand the whole suicide bomber thing but now it's making more sense. I mean I thought before who would really want 72 virgins but now that we know they'd be schooled in giving BJ's and anal I have to admit the idea has a little more appeal (OK, not really).

In all seriousness though, my biggest concern about abstinence is the assumption that the first person you have sex with is automatically going to be someone you can be sexually compatible with for life. I think "try before you buy" is really, really important, and it's reasonably safe if you take the precautions.

The other problem is that abstinence puts a big pressure on kids to get married early. That might have seemed okay in generations past, but these days I think more of us believe it's a good idea to spend a few adult years in relative independence before taking the plunge. By choosing your mate after you've had a chance to grow up, I think you run less risk of "growing out of" that particular person.

I think if my generation has learned anything, it's that our parents rushed into marriage, with the result that I have many single-parented friends who were born in wedlock, but whose parents couldn't stand each other by middle age.

The whole idea of a perfect soulmate is simplistic and naive. It's even downright dangerous. It has led many poor hapless souls into unhappy marriages. I have had enough girlfriends to know nobody is a perfect match. ALL relationships take work. It's just some people match better than others, but no match is perfect. There is no such thing as a "soulmate".

As far as the teenagers are concerned. Sexual tension is a bitch, so I figure that as long as they're using condoms and practicing just a little responsibility, they can fuck each others brains out.

"Is there any greater irony than the fact that the Christian right actually got their precious little adolescent daughters to say to their freshly-scrubbed boyfriends, Please, I want to remain pure for my wedding night, so only in the ass. And then I'll blow you, I promise."
- Bill Maher