Aww.. Cracker Barrel, with a name like that it just sounds inviting doesn't it?
Cracker Barrel, if you didn't know, is one of those places that caters to the person craving their fix for "down home cooking" that is if your idea of "down home cooking" tastes like a lame dinner from the basement of some unfamiliar church. It’s also part of the redneck "fancy" restaurant triad: Cracker Barrel, Red Lobster, and The Olive Garden. Back home this place was seen by many as date worthy (and not in after affair way either). Hell I got dragged there for thanksgiving once or twice!
And yet people flock to this place like lemmings off a cliff. There has never been a time when I didn't have to wait forty-five minutes in line in that goddamned gift shop looking at peanut butter brittle and motion activated novelty singing flowers ever increasingly driving me to the sheer utter depths of madness.
If the gift shop wasn't enough there's also the fact that you are being seated in a dimly lit dining room with nonmaneuverable seating arrangements and walls adorned with rusting farm tools. You can try to pass the time playing that stupid triangular puzzle until you realize some toddler has already eaten about four of the golf tees.
Even that logo is oddly disturbing. Up until recently I thought the guy was standing with one leg behind the barrel until I realized he had two feet on what looks like one leg! I guess inbred deformities are the chain's way of being authentically Southern? Even so that pose he's striking eerily echoes the racist southerner circa 1950s Montgomery, Alabama.
Oh well, I guess I shouldn't be complaining after all it is comforting knowing that I can buy a rocking chair at almost any time of any day.
All in all though if your really going to stop at a grease pit I'd go to Waffle House. At least you'll get some decent food and usually damn good service.
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